I'm not exactly clear on your scenario, but it sounds like you have a solution with multiple projects. (Or maybe just one projects with a bunch of files?)
Either way, ultimately what you want is for the game engine code to reside inside of it's own project. This Windows (or Xbox) Game Library will compile into it's own .dll file (.NET Assembly).
When you compile your solution each project will have a assembly created. If it is a Game project it will be an .exe file. If it is a Library project it will be a .dll file. You just need to browse to the bin/debug folder to grab the .dll.
This all assumes your solution has a Library project. If you simply have all your code in a single project then you will want to break out the "engine" code into it's own Library project and leave the "game" code in the current project.
Hopefully this helps, but if not - perhaps you can describe exactly what your current solution looks like - how many projects are in there, etc.
Chad Carter
Microsoft XNA Game Studio 3.0 Unleashed - Book contains information on 2D, 3D, HLSL, Content Pipeline, XACT, Particle Systems, AI, Physics, Game States, Performance, Zune and 4 full games (2 of which are multiplayer)!
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