The official recommendation given to commercial game developers is they should match their sounds to the volume of the Xbox startup sound. Adjust your TV volume so that the Xbox startup is loud but not painfully so, then adjust your game sounds to make them also loud but not painfully so with this same volume setting.
You can assume most gamers will have their TV set so that other games come out ok (and if not, they can use the startup sound itself as a guide to adjust their volume while powering on the Xbox), so the goal is that with the volume set right for these other sounds, your game shouldn't deafen them when it starts up, but also shouldn't be so quiet they can't hear it.
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